- where you don´t feel like you fit in
- when you feel like you have absolutely nothing in comon with the people that you call your friends
- when you feel like your friends don´t want your company
- when you wonder what is wrong with you
is it that your not of the same skin color?
is it that you are older then the rest of the group?
is it that you have problems that you are trying to fix but don´t know how?
is it that you are in love with out it beeing recognized?
is it that you have regrets for all the wrong things that you did when younger that now affect your way of life?
Is that person next to you on the bus really happier than you? does he/she lead a more meaningful life than you do, do you envy that person for not beeing you?
Are you pissed at yourself for not doing as your parents told you when you were younger and stay in school and get an education?
I don´t like it when people I know are fighting, I understand the reason for verbal fights though.
It´s to settle our diffrences and making our point of why you are not happy with the way they are treating your "relationship" with them.
What is love and why do we need it?
is it to make us feel better about ourselves or is it makes us feel better in this world we live in. This world that is so full of hate and violence, the feeling of beeing loved,
makes us feel better, right?
But can we make it without love?
well as humans we have that need to feel like we belong into our surroundings, family, friendgroup, relationships, workplace, or else we can´t thrive.
If a person is taken away from all that and put in a confined space where he or she doesn´t have the ability to communicate with other persons,
if we were able to observe that human we would see how it slowky but steadily goes numb. It will eat, sleep and drink. But we would see the inner person "die".
It would keep on living but most likely the inner willpower to life would decrease. Now if that same human would be released into the world again after a certain time of solitude it would become scared
Scared of the other humans as it doesn´t know anymore how to communicate with them. It will find a way to function in this world but would be uneasy in a puplic place alone say a shop, movietheater,
or a concert.
At least that´s the case in my own life.
Everyday I´m scared of going out, I´m unemployed because I´m scared of failing. I´m afraid to speak my mind, I might not be accepted for the person who I am.
I´m afraid to show my music to anyone because I´m afraid they don´t like it. I´m afraid of taking on a task because, again, I´m afraid of failing. I´m afraid of allowing myself to fall in love,
Because I´m afraid of beeing heartbroken.
The conclusion of this all is that I feel save at home. In a save enviroment where everything is alright and I´m not scared. But then again I´m afraid of beeing alone,
because I might die one day and nobody will be there to notice I´m gone.
I´m 27 years old.
